No matter what phase of life you are in, the trying times can sometimes make you want to give up. If I am brutally honest, I give up on life, or maybe my mind does, probably once a week. Trying to balance single motherhood of an inquisitive 8-year-old boy, a demanding career as a high school, public school teacher, maintaining my home, my finances, my mental health, my hobbies and dating… “whew child the ghetto”, it indeed gets challenging and overwhelming. No matter how much happiness life can bring, the reality is, expectedly or unexpectedly, it gets hard and challenging; it gets suffocating; it gets chaotic, and it sometimes it just gets downright unbearable. Sometimes we make it this way by our own decision- making and lack of boundaries. Sometimes people make it this way, and sometimes it is for no reasons or whys― it is simply just LIFE!
“However, if we want to continue to grow and blossom, our acceptance of life and its difficulties must become second nature.”
We are all just passing through and no one has the magic key on life or survival. Sometimes, if not often, I want to sit life down in a chair and have a face-to-face conversation and ask it, “Ok, now what is going on? You have some explaining to do? How long is this difficult part of you going to last? This is almost over, right” If only it were that simple. However, if we want to continue to grow and blossom, our acceptance of life and its difficulties must become second nature. Additionally, our being more aware of how far we can go if we never give up must stay at the forefront of our minds.
Now I used to quit life once a day in the past. Do you hear me?! I was throwing in the towel every day! However, the reasons below (which aren’t quick or easy fixes or answers-it takes tons of practice) are ways that aid me daily in never giving up!
THINGS GET BETTER―NOTHING STAYS THE SAME. The only thing that is constant in the world is change. This is no cliché; it’s not a quote from a prestigious figure. It is the stone cold truth. And because nothing stays the same, even in hard times, they do not last. They may not disappear in a week or in a month, sometimes not even a year or two or three, but just know that they do not last.
CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE. “Kim, it is all about perspective. You have to change the way you are looking at your current situation.” One of my closest friends must remind me of this daily when he hears me complaining about life and trying times. The secret to adjusting your perspective when you want to give up is adjusting to the change that the tough times are forcing on you while having a willing attitude about there being a new way of seeing and doing things. There are always several lenses that you can look through when dealing with the difficulties of life. Switch and adjust the lens as many times as you need to so that you can get a snapshot of a different, clearer picture.
SOMEONE NEEDS YOU. It is someone somewhere that values you. It could be the obvious people close to you or people that you have no idea are impacted by your life, but someone needs you! They need you to overcome tough times. They need the version of you that is going to bounce back with tons of wisdom and joy to share. They need to see your determination and perseverance and use it as ammunition when they to want to give up. Hang on for that one somebody!
They need the version of you that is going to bounce back with tons of wisdom and joy to share!
SO MUCH MORE LIFE TO LIVE & MORE TO LEARN. The world is so big! There are so many people to meet, so many places to visit, so many opportunities that await, and if you hold on long enough, you will begin to see that there is so much more life to live that is waiting for you to live it. There are more beautiful memories to create, more laughter to fill your soul, more valuable relationships to build and even so much more to learn. You even have more mistakes to make while laughing at them later (this always keeps me levelheaded and excited to see what is next). We haven’t even seen what is yet to come, and we won’t if we give up.
REMEMBER WHO’S IN CHARGE. Trust God even when you don’t understand the trials that life hands you on a silver platter. He truly protects our hearts and is trying to protect us from what he knows lies ahead. Your strength and courage will come from knowing that no matter what problems we face today or how daunting the future may seem at times the Lord goes before us. Always. Forever. Live, knowing that God has it all figured out. I won’t tell you to relax because that is indeed challenging when life is forcing you to give up. Just be certain and find peace in knowing that God has favor on the way.
GOOD THINGS ARE STILL HAPPENING AROUND YOU. Are you breathing? Yes! I know it may seem like barely, but you are! This may be the only good thing happening to you now at this present moment compared to other unfortunate things, but baby it is still GOOD! Sometimes if we can just find the strength to open our eyes each morning, even when it is hard, we will see that there are still good things that are happening around us―no matter how small!
TIME REVEALS ALL. You must want to see how your story is going to end as well as what all this chaos and suffering is for, and if you give it enough time and don’t give up, it will be revealed. Some plans are bigger than we can ever imagine, but if we give up too soon, we won’t ever get to see them and experience them. What a waste life would be to come this far and not see what the tough times are for and the beauty that unfolds because of it all.
BUILDING STRENGTH & ENDURANCE. Even if you are hanging on by a thread each day and not giving up, that is progress. And progress is progress. Some battles we have to fight―little by little, day by day, moment by moment, step by step. It is all working to build our strength and endurance to fight another day. More tough times are on the way, but if you give yourself the tools to see the tough times through, those same tools will help you get through anything.
Some battles we have to fight―little by little, day by day, moment by moment, step by step.
PATIENCE PAYS OFF. There’s a perfect time for everything. There is a perfect time for healing. There is a perfect time for promotions and the house of your dreams. Don’t trade God’s timing for your deadline. Don’t try to make things happen that God is already working out for you on your behalf. Trust the process. God is already working it out; just allow God to handle it.
YOU CAN’T CONTROL EVERYTHING. Spend your energy on things you can control and watch how everything begins to unfold for you and your current situation, which will give you that extra ammunition you need to hold on and never give up.
Things truly get better once we are willing to switch our perspective and find comfort in knowing that we are valued and needed on this earth. There is more joy to experience and more to learn, and we can experience these things if we remember who is in charge. No matter how small, good is still going on because the world is constantly evolving. Let time do its thing while you’re building up your strength and endurance and know that patience pays off. You can’t control everything, but you can control if you are really going to show up and see how your beautiful story will unfold. It’s all a part of the tunnel. It is not the entire journey. It may be dark in this section, but it won’t be dark all the way through.
Never ever give up!
Now, go be happy!