Wow! We are already 6 days into year 2020! It’s not only a New Year, but a new decade! I am sure for most of you a lot has happened within the last year and decade. I am also sure that there are things that you would love to discuss, things that have brought you immense joy and some things that you wish probably never happened. But guess what?! No matter the mountain top highs and the extreme lows, the joyful days and the painful days…look…WE MADE IT!!
We can’t predict the future; therefore, I struggle with making “New Year’s resolutions” because we all know that we can be on our A-game, and out of no-where, here comes life and everything we’ve planned for is now just a memory. I truly encourage you all to just live, to learn, set boundaries, make peace with the things you can’t change, be genuinely happy for others, save money if you can, and most importantly, please put yourself and the well-being of your kids first.
So instead of New Year’s resolutions, I will leave you with a few things that helped me have a memorable 2019 that I plan to take into 2020. No point in reinventing the wheel…
- Make time for yourself. Put the laundry down, use a sick day from work, order some takeout, have a spa day, disconnect from social media, send the kids with their dads or grandmothers and make some much needed, therapeutic time for yourself. Everything will be there just how you left it when you get back.
- Take back your POWER. You have everything you need inside of you to give yourself the best life possible. It is there, buried deep inside and your life should not be controlled by others, by society or by likes. You, and only you, are in control of your life! If you truly do not like your life, make the changes this year. Take your POWER back and never let it go.
- Find healthy coping skills. We must stop adding problems and problems on top of each other and start trying to eliminate them. With that being said, finding healthy ways to cope when life gets challenging is essential this year. Music is so good for the soul, eating out alone is therapeutic, enjoying an old hobby or embracing a new one, and of course, writing never hurt anyone! All of these things and more can help you cope in 2020.
- Become emotionally stable. If you don’t control your emotions, you will lose every time. Even though it is one of the hardest things to do, having control over your emotions will most certainly give you a more stable life and generate more peace. Being emotionally stable doesn’t mean you ignore your emotions and don’t feel. No. Feel them, sit uncomfortably with them if you need to, and then set them free.
- Keep God first. He created us and is the only one that knows us far too well. He knows what is best for us and who is best for us. He always has our best interest at heart if we just trust in him and let him direct our paths. I encourage you to wholeheartedly get out of your own way this year and let God take the lead. Trust him, lean on him, talk to him, walk with him and keep him first in your household and in your lives.
- Remember WHO YOU ARE! Let’s bring self-confidence back this year and sprinkle it around on everything we touch. The only way to do this is to remember who you are. There is no one on this earth like you. From the way you walk, the way you talk, the way you dress and the way you handle your business, own and remember who you are this year. Who cares if it is going to make some people uncomfortable? Who cares if you may step on a few toes? Wear yourself like a badge of honor, carry yourself with meaning, with direction, with pride and just watch how your own life will now become the stage where you will grow, prosper and flourish in this new year.
- Set boundaries and demand respect. Stop letting people run your life and mistreat you. There is not one human being on this earth that has permission to disturb, cause chaos or destroy your life or take your well-being for granted! NO ONE! You must set some boundaries with these people; put them on the shelf where they belong and pull them down when necessary! Don’t go another day letting someone disturb your peace and your soul. Make them respect you, make them honor you and hold them accountable for the responsibility that they have in your life. Don’t spend another year tolerating and allowing others to disrespect you and give you less than you deserve.
- Keep people out of your business. Too much advice from people who have never walked a day in your shoes, who have never had your experiences and who aren’t dealing with the emotions that you are can be draining and even daunting. There is nothing like trusting your own good judgement while keeping some things to yourself. This isn’t always easy. Sometimes you want to explode if you’re not able to talk to someone. Nonetheless, I would recommend seeking and investing in a therapist this year. It indeed eliminates the stress from the opinions of others, and it allows you to process what you are experiencing in a non-judgmental area while creating a necessary balance in your life.
- Don’t let anyone tell you how to live your life. Listen, we are a new generation of people. Gone are the days where we stay cooped up in a home taking care of everyone else but ourselves. The opportunities in front of us are endless. The adventures are just a Google search away. Some people, if not a lot of people, will not get every decision you make let alone support it, but you do and that is why I encourage you to live in a way that’s best for you. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for the way that you choose to live your life, especially if no one is getting hurt in the process. It’s your life to live, your joy to experience, your happiness to explore, your new memories to make.
- Let it flow! Don’t rush the timing of your life. Just let things flow this year. Take the pressure off of perfections or the perfect life while trying to be the perfect person. Put that baggage down now and go out and make the best of the short time that we have here on earth. Don’t rush anything. Sometimes when we rush things it is truly not what we want or the desires of our hearts! Anything that is meant for you is already orchestrated by God himself.
Make this the year that you truly take control of your life! Make time for yourself, take back your power and find healthy coping skills when life gets overwhelming. Create your foundation by becoming emotionally stable while keeping God first. Remember WHO YOU ARE AT ALL TIMES while setting boundaries, demanding respect while dismissing those who continue to make your life a living hell. I encourage you to not only seek a therapist this year, but keep some things to yourself and don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for how you decide to live your life. Let 2020 and every year after flow through you and around you while taking in all the good that this life has to offer!
Let’s make this year count and let it be the stepping stone and framework of the years to follow.
Now go be happy!